When something goes wrong, you may turn the problem against yourself.

“What did I do wrong?”

“Why am I never enough?”

“I always mess this stuff up.”

You may replay conversations, question your choices, blame yourself, or start wondering whether you’re simply bad at relationships.

And one difficult moment can quickly become a much bigger conclusion:

“Maybe this just isn’t going to happen for me.”

But someone else being upset, distant, disappointed, or unwilling to participate does not automatically mean that you are the problem.

So ask yourself:

Are you looking at what is actually happening — or automatically turning it into evidence against yourself?

There is a big difference between taking responsibility for your part and taking responsibility for everything.

This isn’t a label.

You may respond differently in other relationships. This result reflects the response that showed up most often in the relationship you had in mind while taking the quiz.

The real question isn’t whether your response is good or bad.

It’s this: Is the way you’re responding helping you create the relationship you actually want?

If the answer is no—or even “I’m not sure”—that’s worth paying attention to.

Want to explore this further? Your free guide, From Reaction to Choice: A Simple Guide to Creating the Relationship You Want, is on its way to your inbox. It will help you take a closer look at what you noticed here and consider what you might choose differently.

Curious about the work behind the quiz? Learn more about how LifeDesign helps people create healthier relationships—with themselves, with others, and with the patterns that can get in the way.