When you feel the relationship slipping away, you may go into action.

“I need to fix this.”

“I can’t just let this fall apart.”

“There has to be something I can do.”

You may text more, push for more time together, keep trying to talk things through, agree to things you don’t really want, make yourself more available, or do whatever you can think of to pull the relationship back together.

Sometimes effort can repair a relationship.

But there’s a point where trying harder can stop being a choice and become a reaction to the fear that you might lose it.

So ask yourself:

Are you choosing what you want to contribute — or doing whatever you can to keep the relationship from ending?

Holding on harder does not always create more connection.

Sometimes it just keeps you working harder for something that needs a different kind of choice.

This isn’t a label.

You may respond differently in other relationships. This result reflects the response that showed up most often in the relationship you had in mind while taking the quiz.

The real question isn’t whether your response is good or bad.

It’s this: Is the way you’re responding helping you create the relationship you actually want?

If the answer is no—or even “I’m not sure”—that’s worth paying attention to.

Want to explore this further? Your free guide, From Reaction to Choice: A Simple Guide to Creating the Relationship You Want, is on its way to your inbox. It will help you take a closer look at what you noticed here and consider what you might choose differently.

Curious about the work behind the quiz? Learn more about how LifeDesign helps people create healthier relationships—with themselves, with others, and with the patterns that can get in the way.